Signs Of Being In a Toxic Relationship

Signs of being in a toxic relationship


Whether you're aware of it or not, a toxic relationship may negatively impact your mental health. It can make you feel insecure about yourself, leave you feeling unhappy, frustrated and drained, place pressure on you to change something about yourself or may even be physically and emotionally harmful.
Toxic relationship can sometimes be hard to identify. There are some behaviors that clearly cross a line like any kind of abuse, be it physical, emotional, verbal, or financial. Other signs are subtler, but can be just as problematic.
“Every single relationship has a level of toxicity. Nothing is perfect, there’s always some work to be done,”. But it's when toxicity spirals out of control that problems arise. “If you feel uneasy, you need to stop yourself and ask what the cause is.” Be on the lookout for these under-the-radars signs that your relationship is bad for you. Here are few signs to know you are in a toxic relationship.


  1. YOUR PARTNER NEVER TAKES RESPONSIBILITY
“Healthy people can take feedback and course correct,” says Rebecca Hendrix, L.M.F.T, a psychotherapist in New York. “A toxic partner might blame you for the fact that they hurt your feelings.”
This goes both ways, adds Thompson. “We look at how the other person affects us but we also need to look at how we’re affecting our partner,” she says. If you’re constantly turning things around on your partner, you’re turning things toxic.


 2. YOUR PARTNER IS CONSTANTLY STONEWALLING YOU
Having a fight doesn’t mean your relationship is toxic, but if your partner is always shutting down when you try to bring up what’s bothering you, that’s what therapists call stonewalling. “Healthy couples are open to each other’s feedback,” says Hendrix. “You should be invested in each other’s happiness and seeing what you can both do to communicate more effectively.” If, instead of listening, your partner is always saying they don’t want to talk about it, looking away, and being unresponsive, or even straight up walking away, that’s a toxic red flag.


3. YOU FEEL DRAINED
If your relationship feels like it’s sucking the energy out of you, that’s a sign of toxicity, says Thompson. It might even manifest physically, like if you’re tired all the time, she says. “Toxic relationships can literally make our bodies unhealthy, it’s vital to pay attention to these signs and to how our bodies are reacting,” says Thompson.


4. YOUR PARTNER IS ALWAYS CRITICIZING YOU
Ideally, you want to find a partner who makes you a better version of yourself, right? Someone who supports, encourages, and challenges you can sometimes be confused for someone who’s really criticizing you. They get defensive saying they are only trying to help—this is not about helping you, this is about controlling you,” says Hendrix. “Controlling behavior is usually present in a toxic relationship." Don’t confuse manipulation or control freak tendency with being “nice” or “helpful.”


5. WHEN YOU DO ALL THE WORK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
In every relationship, there’s a natural division of labor. Maybe you always make the restaurant reservations because you’re always spotting new date night spots on Instagram. Meanwhile, bae is awesome at making sure you’re prioritizing together time in your busy schedules.
“A healthy relationship is a partnership, with both of you co-creating your fulfillment,” Hendrix explains. If you feel like you’re suddenly doing all the heavy lifting especially if your partner doesn’t seem to notice the balance has become toxic, she says. Make sure you’re not the only one contributing to the day-to-day activities or long-term vision of the relationship.


6. YOU’RE ALWAYS MAKING EXCUSES FOR LOVE'S BAD BEHAVIOR
If you’re always making excuses for your partner’s behavior whether it’s their emotional unavailability, lack of empathy, habit of being obnoxious to your friends, or lack of support that’s a problem, says Hendrix. We all have stressful weeks and things we need to work on, but if your partner isn’t listening to your concerns or trying to improve, time to consider a split.


Final tips

You must understand that the most important step in handling a toxic relationship is to focus on yourself, as the only person you can change is you! Then, work with the other person to improve communication and break toxic patterns. If your partner isn't interested in changing his/her ways I suggest that you break up such relationship because your happiness and peace of mind should come first in any relationship because only a happy fellows can make out an healthy relationship.